Season’s Greetings!
(Courtesy of Marianne Van Dijk – Cup of Empathy/YouTube Channel)
(Courtesy of Marianne Van Dijk – Cup of Empathy/YouTube Channel)
Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, “I developed NVC as a way to train my attention—to shine the light of consciousness on places that have the potential to yield what I am seeking. What I want in my life is compassion, a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving of the heart.”
What is street giraffe?
"Never question the beauty of what you are saying because someone reacts with pain, judgment, criticism. It just means they have not heard you." ~ Marshall Rosenberg
About Pamela,
Blogger/Facilitator
(a.k.a. @StreetGiraffe)
Questions? Feedback? Learn how to join in?
Please email me via
streetgiraffes@gmail.com
A favorite Audre Lorde quote of mine:
NVC is a tool, in our toolbox (akin to a paintbrush); how it is expressed, on the canvas of our lived existence, may be as varied as the fruits of each painter's artistic choices & creative risks.
e.g.
Recommended:
Free NVC/MYL App
(as a composting/'posthersal' if/then)
Preparing for Challenging Conversations [podcast #26]
w/ @DrYvetteErasmus
Transforming the Pain of Unmet Needs to the Beauty of Needs
(See also: Mourning/Living-Energy of Needs)
&/or
Dialogue Prep [worksheet]
for Difficult Conversations
Discover how to naturalize NVC here
& embody nonviolent power here
A couple of free & convenient ways to explore "Street Giraffe"
(a.k.a. NVC):
1) Q&A/Podcast/YouTube(s)
&/or
2) NVC / "Mediate Your Life" App
NVC handout from 1980s
(note "dreams" - perhaps inspired by MLK)
"From his work with civil rights activists in the '60s, Rosenberg came up with the precise language of Nonviolent Communication, designed to minimize defensive reactions and maximize cooperation." Katy Butler
New to Nonviolent Communication?
Take classes at NVC Academy!
When once asked about why he, Marshall Rosenberg, opted to shift from "dreams" (1.0) to "universal human needs" (2.0) he offered it was quicker, it simply took less time.
"OFNR" -- Observations, Feelings, Needs & Requests
(elements guiding dialogue towards the consciousness of NVC)
NVC is not [just] OFNR.
~ Marshall Rosenberg
Various practitioners of NVC are taking the consciousness in new and creative directions, such as Oren Jay Sofer's focus on a somatic-based mindfulness, Sarah Peyton's neuroscience-oriented resonance, Arnina Kashtan's blending of modalities via her compass, Aya Caspi's infusion of NVC's spirituality within society, Jesse Wiens Chu and Catherine Cadden's zen-informed everyday nonviolence, Miki Kashtan's Convergent Facilitation, Gina Cenciose blend of NVC with IRF & WTR, Roxy Manning's anti-racist conversations insights, Dominic Barter's restorative circles, Yvette Erasmus, PsyD's eclectic approach, and John Kinyon's mediate your life work.
And that's truly just a sampling of those who are featured on the pages of this blog, with so many more (too innumerable to mention).
E.g.
John Kinyon's [free]
MediateYourLifeApp.com's
Conversation Maps
“We don't rise to the level of our expectations, we fall to the level of our training.” ― Archilochos
(see also: NVC Academy's free library & CNVC's free resources)
"However impressed we may be with NVC concepts, it is only through practice and application that our lives are transformed." ~ Marshall Rosenberg
Excerpt from Oren's NVC primer: When To Speak & When To Listen
&/or additional articles & practices
"When we are able to include our own needs in the equation fully, alongside, not instead of, others’ needs, we are more likely to experience the possibility of stepping beyond the either/or paradigm, and finding care for everyone." ~ Miki Kashtan
"Keep in mind that other people’s actions can never ‘make’ you feel any certain way. Feelings are your warning indicators." ~ Marshall Rosenberg
John Kinyon's [free]
MediateYourLifeApp.com:
(please note root circle of self-connection)
Newt Bailey (@nmbailey): “I have a sense that 90% of Nonviolent Communication is about ‘Self-Connection.’ When using this expression, I’m referring to the practice or process that lives at the root of Inbal Kashtan’s Tree of Life diagram…” (continues via BayNVC)
Please note Matrix's "request-consciousness":
"Giraffe is a language of requests;
Jackal is a language of demands."
via Learning to 'speak giraffe'
"There are two things that distinguish truly nonviolent actions from violent actions. First, there is no enemy in the nonviolent point of view. You don’t see an enemy. Your thinking is clearly focused on protecting your needs. Second, your intention is not to make the other side suffer."
~ Marshall Rosenberg
"The longer I live, the more deeply I learn that love — whether we call it friendship or family or romance — is the work of mirroring and magnifying each other’s light. Gentle work. Steadfast work. Life-saving work in those moments when life and shame and sorrow occlude our own light from our view, but there is still a clear-eyed loving person to beam it back. In our best moments, we are that person for another." ~ Maria Popova
"Anger is a signal that you’re distracted by judgmental or punitive thinking, and that some precious need of yours is being ignored." ~ Marshall Rosenberg
"When we are depressed, our thinking blocks us from being aware of our needs, and then being able to take action to meet our needs." ~ Marshall Rosenberg
Why "Watching the Jackal Chorus" Matters
(@ 14 & 1/2 minute mark)
"Interpretations, criticisms, diagnoses, and judgments of others are actually alienated expressions of our unmet needs." ~ Marshall Rosenberg
"Never hear what somebody thinks about you, you’ll live longer. Hear that they’re in pain. Don’t hear their analysis." ~ Marshall Rosenberg
Find more NVC Flow Charts:
streetgiraffe.com
"Postpone result/solution thinking until later; it’s through connection that solutions materialize – empathy before education." ~ Marshall Rosenberg
and/or Healing & Reconciliation
"I wouldn’t expect someone who’s been injured to hear my side until they felt that I had fully understood the depth of their pain." ~ Marshall Rosenberg
"True forgiveness is not about condoning or forgetting; it's about releasing ourselves from the burden of resentment and finding peace within." ~ Marshall Rosenberg
Say It Right - Katy Butler
(Article where I first came across NVC)
This blog/call grew out of a "Naturalizing NVC" class I took with Miki Kashtan through NVC Academy in 2011 during which I made a request of my fellow classmates that we might practice together outside of the call. It was mostly just about my wanting to gain "street giraffe" fluency by way of practice and then also cataloguing the seeds of my learning. As I say here, it's likely been sustained by way of "structured procrastination" and lots of tinkering while multi-tasking. As Peggy Smith once put it, NVC is but one fruit amidst a more plentiful fruit bowl offering of the healing powers of resonant language, which animates the arc of my life's journey and is something I hope to write about eventually. Bottom line, I'm merely a fellow practitioner/traveler yet invite any inquiries that this blog may have sparked for you.
Pamela, a.k.a. @StreetGiraffe (via Twitter)
More as to #mediateoneslife consults (re: NVC Mediation) via my alternate
blog: streetgiraffe.com/referrals
More thoughts as to "street giraffe"
Another NVC/Street-Giraffe oriented sangha: Conversations from the Heart
Live Q & A Call w/ Dr. Erasmus –
Podcast (Apple, Audible, etc.)
Practice Group Guidebook:
The Ongo Book 2.0:
Everyday Nonviolence
Street Giraffes Sangha's Toolbox
Facebook.com/@streetgiraffes
Twitter.com/@streetgiraffes
Instagram.com/@streetgiraffes
Threads.net/@streetgiraffes
Pinterest.com/@streetgiraffe
One way to contribute to NVC:
NVC School Rusinga: Donate
(Located in Kenya,
near Lake Victoria)
The Chopra Center: Conscious Communication is the ability to clearly communicate what you want in life, which directly relates to your emotional well-being. The key principles of conscious communication can help you do just that… (continues)
(See also OFNR: Observation, Feelings, Needs & Requests.)
“If I had just one book to recommend about interpersonal communication, it would be this one.” ~ Rick Hanson
My Q&A w/ Oren Jay Sofer
Author of Say What You Mean
Excerpt from Oren‘s NVC primer:
5 Core Practices for More Meaningful Conversations
NVC Academy, CNVC & several of my giraffe teachers
Simone Weil: “Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.”
"As NVC replaces our old patterns of defending, withdrawing or attacking in the face of judgment and criticism. We come to perceive ourselves and others, as well as our intentions and relationships, in a new light. Resistance, defensiveness, and violent reactions are minimized." ~ Marshall Rosenberg
"I would like us to create peace at three levels and have each of us to know how to do it. First, within ourselves. That is to know how we can be peaceful with ourselves when we’re less than perfect, for example. How we can learn from our limitations without blaming and punishing our self. If we can’t do that, I’m not too optimistic how we’re going to relate peacefully out in the world. Second, between people. Nonviolent Communication training shows people how to create peace within themselves and at the same time how to create connections with other people that allows compassionate giving to take place naturally. And third, in our social systems. To look out at the structures that we’ve created, the governmental structures and other structures, and to look at whether they support peaceful connections between us and if not, to transform those structures." ~ Marshall Rosenberg
Additional NVC resources:
streetgiraffes.com/other-nvc-learning-venues
I post about other NVC webinars/resources that I learn of here (Facebook page).
What is NVC Mediation? A Powerful Model for Healing and Reconciling Conflict
NVC Mediation pioneers:
JohnKinyon.com
IkeLasater.com
Free Mindfulness/MYL App:
MediateYourLifeApp.com
More NVC Mediation Teachers:
Liv Larsson
Aya Caspi
Jim & Jori Manske
Yoram Mosenzon
Jan Blum
Godfrey Spencer
Kate Raffin
Glyn Conlon
Additional NVC mediation referrals:
streetgiraffe.com/referrals
Facebook Page/Community:
NVC Mediation (Facebook group)
Contact:
Jim & Jori Manske’s
Conflict Resolution
Miki Kashtan‘s
Convergent Facilitation
Marriage & NVC Mediation:
CoupleCoachJohn.com‘s
John Reel, Exec Dir: HarmonicMediation.com
MaxRivers | NVC-Based Mediation, Trainings, Video and Blog
See also:
YvetteErasmus.com
Oren Jay Sofer’s Meditation, Communication & Dharma Practice (blog)
Cup of Empathy (YouTube)
Experiments with Truth: Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Blog & Sangha
Inspiration and tools for creating the future we want. Courage to live it now.
Dian Killian, Collaborative Communication
Experiments with Truth: Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Blog & Sangha
Experiments with Truth: Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Blog & Sangha
Experiments with Truth: Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Blog & Sangha
Focusing Changes Lives
Experiments with Truth: Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Blog & Sangha
Experiments with Truth: Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Blog & Sangha