(beneath courtesy of the work of Robert Gonzales*)
Preparation for Authentic Dialogue
Connect to the Energy of the Beauty of the Need:
- Identify the observation/stimulus that you want to communicate about.
- Follow the stimulus to identifying the need, to resting in the beauty of the need. a) Self-empathize with any thinking, judgments, feelings or other needs as they arise in relation to entering into the beauty of the need. b) Enter into the living energy of this need, feel it alive within you.
- Say aloud, the beauty of the need expressing your sense and value of it in terms of your emotions and the felt sense of your body.
- Sense and guess what need might have been alive in the other person. Recognize they were trying to meet a need in what you observed. Feel the beauty in their need.
- Say aloud the beauty of the need you are guessing is alive in them and what it feels like in your emotions and the felt sense of your body.
Set a Clear Intention to Connect:
- Intend to connect with each other’s authenticity without any other outcome in mind (for change or to fix anything). You might say, “I want to reveal (share/express) the fullness of my feelings and needs so the other person receives it in their heart and I want to hear, feel and receive theirs in my heart so we can mutually enjoy each others feelings and needs.”
- Say aloud your intention to connect and what this intention feels like in your body and emotions.
Email Robert Gonzales: email@example.com
See also: Choice-Points
For more as to NVC & Social Change Agency:
Read an excerpt from new book:
“Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication *
by Oren Jay Sofer
On Being: Good conversation is an adventure. A few weeks ago, Krista asked you for the questions you’ve been asking in your own lives. Here, she responds to what’s on your mind. The first installment of “Living the Questions,” a new feature of the On Being podcast. https://onbeing.org/programs/living-the-questions-1/