Mourning & Beauty of Needs



Transforming the Pain of Unmet Needs to the Beauty of Needs

Learn more as to Robert’s book here.

(Beneath courtesy of the work of Robert Gonzales)


Steps Write
1.  Stimulus (observation)


(write out)

2.  Jackal Thoughts


a.  Write the thought
b.  Say aloud with energy!
c.  “I’m telling myself…”

3.  Review the original stimulus

Jackal thoughts:
4.  Self-empathize

a.  Consider stimulus
b.  Name and be with the unmet needs of the stimulus
c.  Name and be with the the feelings around the unmet need
d.  Stay here until you feel a shift towards relaxed, relief.This is the mourning stage.
Unmet needs:


Feelings around unmet needs:


Steps Write:
5.  Experience the beauty of the need.


Describe your experience of the beauty of the unmet need:  if troubled, remember a time when the need was met, how wonderful that felt.

Beauty of the Need:
6.  Bring beauty of needs awareness to original stimulus.


Notice and write down if any feelings or needs come alive.

(If applicable, make any request related to those feelings and needs.)





Re-cycle through process, if/when necessary (cyclical rather than linear as new jackals get stimulated throughout)  

Courtesy of

two-questionsNeeds exclude all tangibles, i.e. PLATO – Person, Location, Action, Time or Object

What’s alive? 

Observations (a.k.a. Stimulus) & Interpretations, Feelings, Needs

What would make life more wonderful?

Requests/Strategies, e.g. PLATO = Person, Location, Action, Time, Object

Robert Gonzales YouTube Channel

See also: Grok cards 

How to do Emotional hygiene – Nonviolent Communication demo

V0023154 A zoo with giraffes, tigers, and a peacock. Coloured lithogr
Credit: Wellcome Library, London.
Wellcome Images
A zoo with giraffes, tigers, and a peacock. (CC:4.0)