Jackal/Giraffe Ears


Thich Nhat Hahn:
We need someone to be able to listen to us and to understand us. Then, we will suffer less. But everyone is suffering, and no one wants to listen.

Anubis mask (courtesy of Wikimedia Commons)
(beneath is courtesy of the work of Jim and Jori Manske)

Four Choices When Hearing a Difficult Message

Judgmental (Jackal) Ears Out

Blame or Criticize the other person

“It’s your fault.”
“You’re bad/wrong.”
“You should____.”

(Voice of Anger)

Judgmental (Jackal) Ears In

Blame or criticize yourself

“It’s my fault.”
“I’m bad/wrong.”
“I should_____.”

(Voice of Guilt, Shame, Depression)

Generative (Giraffe) Ears In

Connect to your internal experience

“I’m feeling__________ because I need/value____________.”

(Voice of Self-Empathy)

Generative (Giraffe) Ears Out

Connect to the underlying cause of the other’ s communication

“Are you feeling________ because you value/need____________?”

(Voice of Empathy)

Courtesy of Irina Polikanova (via Wikimedia Commons)
Based on the work of Marshall B. Rosenberg, author of Nonviolent Communication
© 2009 peaceworks, Jim and Jori Manske
Certified Trainers with The Center for Nonviolent Communication

Radical Compassion – Files: Hand-outs, recordings, notes, etc.

Four Choices.pdf

Marianne Van Dijk – Cup of Empathy/YouTube Channel

FYI ~ Here is a link to the recording from “Recovering from Reactivity” (utilizing the giraffe/jackal ears handout above) via (free) monthly Taste of Compassionate Leadership webinar on NVC Academy

If you are new to the class, register here:  http://nvctraining.com/media/_2017/JJM/TOCL

For information about the NVC Academy Library, click here

For as Thich Nhat Hahn reminds us:
Listening is a very deep practice… you have to empty yourself. You have to leave space in order to listen… especially to people we think are our enemies — the ones we believe are making our situation worse. When you have shown your capacity for listening and understanding, the other person will begin to listen to you, and you have a chance to tell him or her of your pain, and then it’s your turn to get healed. This is the practice of peace.

“Dialogue is a conversation…the outcome of which is unknown.”

~ Martin Buber

I Am Not a Giraffe | NVC World

ZENVC’s iGiraffe & Ongo Book

igiraffe“The art of conversation is the art of hearing as well of being heard.”
~ William Hazlitt, Selected Essays, 1778-1830

Kitagawa Utamaro via Wikimedia Commons