(Courtesy of the work of Jacob Gotwals, Jack Lehman, Jim Manske, and Jori Manske)
Four Competencies of NVC (Consciousness) ~
Unskilled, Awakening, Capable & Integrated:
CNVC.org: This document comes in two sizes, they contain the same information.
The large version is on eight pages and the other version is on four pages.
Pathways to Liberation Self Assessment Matrix v1 2.pdf
Pathways to Liberation Self Assessment Matrix v1 2 large.pdf
Matrix co-creators Jim & Jori Manske have suggested these five skills as “easy ways to integrate NVC, anywhere/everywhere”:
More on Observations/Feelings/Needs:
Listen to an audio depiction of Self Assessment Matrix – NVC Academy
These skills are the “Pathways to Liberation” we are writing about in our upcoming book. We have developed a chart- the “Matrix” – to support people in self-assessing their level of development in each skill – if you would like to receive it, please find more info here:
Abbreviated list of skills (please click on link above for full depiction):
Being attentive to what is happening right now. Not lost in thinking, emotional reactions, etc.
Noticing (and possibly describing) our sensory and mental experiences, and distinguishing these experiences from the interpretations we ascribe to them.
Ability to identify and experience our physical sensations and emotions.
Accepting oneself with unconditional caring.
|Taking ownership of one’s
|Living from the knowledge that I alone cause my emotions – my emotions are not caused by others.|
|Needs consciousness||Awareness of (and the willingness to honor) needs, the essential universal elemental qualities of life (like sustenance, love and meaning).|
|Re-connecting to self & recovering from reactivity||Reactivity is internal resistance to what is. Recovery is letting go of that resistance. Re-connecting to self is being with one’s own experience with presence and compassion.|
|Request consciousness & making requests||Willingness to ask for what one wants, with openness to any response; not attached to any particular outcome.|
|Mourning||Transforming the suffering of loss; letting go of resistance to what is, and being willing to allow our experience to unfold.|
|Empathy||Being present with another’s experience, with unconditional acceptance of the person.|
|Dissolving enemy images||Transcending one’s perceptions that another deserves to be punished or harmed.|
|Discernment||Clarity, insight, and wisdom in making life-serving distinctions and choices; recognizing one has choice.|
|Living interdependently||Living from the knowledge that every individual is related to every other individual – every part of a system affects every other part.|
|Honest self-expression||Owning one’s experience and having the willingness to express authentically without blame or criticism.|
|Facilitating connection||Facilitating empathy and honesty in dialogue with an intent to create connection.|
|Patience||Remaining spaciously present when one feels stress. An ability to be with one’s own reactions, without acting out of them.|
|Responding to others’
|Responding rather than reacting to others who are caught up in intense separating emotions.|
|Openness to feedback||Receiving other’s perspective about our actions with equanimity and centeredness.|
|Beneficial regret||Acknowledging and learning from one’s missed opportunity to meet needs, without guilt, shame, or self-punishment.|
|Flexibility in relating||Openness and versatility in interacting with others.|
|Transforming conflict||Using conflict with others as a means to connect and create a mutual outcome.|
|Gratitude||Finding the value in, appreciating, and enjoying what is.|
|Openhearted flow of
giving and receiving
|Transforming scarcity thinking into thriving creatively; joyfully contributing and receiving.|
|Cultivating vitality||Tuning in to oneself to support balanced self-care; cultivating the energy to serve life.|
|Sharing power||Transforming domination; valuing everyone’s needs with mutuality and respect; transcending submission and rebellion.|
|Transcending roles||Aware that we are not the roles we play; having choice about what roles we adopt and how we respond to the roles others adopt.|
|Freely choosing one’s responses to what shows up in life, owning one’s part in what happens. Not owning others’ parts, and acknowledging that one’s actions do influence others.|
Consciously participating in the creation and evolution of holistic systems that foster general well-being.
Copyright © 2011 Jacob Gotwals, Jack Lehman, Jim Manske, and Jori Manske. All rights reserved.
Jack, Jim, and Jori are
Certified Trainers with
Visit us at www.pathwaystoliberation.net for the latest version of this matrix,
information about the Pathways To Liberation books, and more.
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