FYI ~ Join call via our

Meeting Wall | Street Giraffes

(password protected)

Our Toolbox:

(Minnesota State Capitol Woodworkers Toolbox Historical Society)

See also: Handy-Handouts

Feelings & Needs



Courtesy of BayNVC/Kashtan

Cache of Inquiries

Naturalizing the Language of NVC (10 pages) via Miki Kashtan’s course on Naturalizing the Language of NVC & Learning Packet





Additional Handy Handouts


  ZENVC‘s “iGiraffe” courtesy of Catherine Cadden & Jesse Wiens


Three Layers of Empathy [PDF]


ZENVC – Communication-Flow-Chart




Self-Connection in the Midst of Difficulty (Breath, Body, Need – Practice)

Self-Connection Process (SCP)

“Any grieving we don’t do stiffens our hearts and shuts us away from fully engaging with life.” ~ Miki KashtanThe Little Book of Courageous Living

Mediate-Your-Life (Handouts) – Mourn, Celebrate, Learn (MCL)



Tools for Integrating NVC:  Edge/Strength

Listen to a (free) recording of one way to use the Matrix here.


Four Competencies of NVC (Consciousness):

Unskilled, Awakening, Capable & Integrated

Radical Compassion ~ Self-Assessment Matrix [PDF]


Pathways to Liberation  Assessment Matrix – large.pdf

Strength      |           Edge    



Recovering from Reactivity

What’s an edge that you would like to build upon?

(Pick a complementary strength that might support you in developing this skill.)
Presence  Observing  Feelings-Awareness  Needs-Consciousness  Requests  
Honest Self-Expression  Empathy   Patience Recovering from Reactivity  Self-Acceptance  


ZENVC Journal

kateraffinjournalKate Raffin Journals

Kate Raffin  – On “Flowers, Tears, and Lightbulbs”

Balancing my yearning to grow with acceptance of who I am right now

Flowers, Tears and Lightbulbs

Kate Raffin’s

Giraffe Journal

See also: Kate‘s &/or Journaling

Linnaea Marvell’s Magic-Wand [PDF]

Pick a recurring situation in which the same kinds of events stimulate a similar reaction for you.

  1. Enjoy the jackal show fully so that you can really hear what your jackal is saying.  Get as clear as you can about your thinking.  Notice it is different from what really happened.  Be clear that it is what you made up about what happened.  Appreciate the jackal voices as the messenger for something that really matters to you.
  2. Ask yourself, ‘If I had a magic wand and could have whatever I want in this situation, what would it be?’  Do not concern yourself with believability or how realistic it is.  You are not concerned that this might never happen, you want to hear clearly what your jackal wants.
  3. Ask yourself, “If I got the thing my magic wand would give me, what is the positive thing this would do for me?’  This should be internal (at the needs level).
  4. Ask yourself, “If I got that, what would it let me do?” you should feel a quickening or perhaps a mourning or tearing up at this stage – a kind of sweet self-compassion and recognition that you have touched something real for you.

Courtesy of Linnaea Marvell

Linnaea Marvell’s – Dynamics of Connection


Another enlivening process that is reminiscent of the ‘Magic Wand’ and has the timely title of ‘Dream Cycle’ — pictured beneath  — similarly supports by tapping into one’s vision/dream, resiliently stretching in the process (as Chris Johnstone further expounds upon approximately midway through his book Find Your Power):

  1. Review ~ What’s going on?  How am I doing?  What are my concerns?
  2. Dream ~ What would I like to happen (here)?
  3. Plan ~ What’s my decision?  Deepen determination.  Research phase.  Identify choice points.  How can I take steps to move that way?
  4. Do ~ Take the steps.
  5. Review ~ What’s the pattern?  How do I feel about it?  What’s my response?  What happens when I do this?  Any changes?  Back to top.
Cache of Inquiries
question_mark_cloudQuestion Mark Cloud
Courtesy of Micky Aldridge from Finland
(via Wikimedia Commons)

(Resources above may be utilized during the course of the tele-practice group.)

See also (a couple of NVC books that we’ll borrow from):

ZENVC — New Mindfulness & NVC guidebook:


Oren Jay SoferSay What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication

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